Strengths and Weaknesses: Lessons learned from The Island

I started thinking about this after my jaunt to Manchester the other weekend. My friend Abbie (who I like to think of as Abbie the Artist even though she has renounced art for the timebeing) knows a lot of about feminism and culture, and told me that nearly all aspects of our lives are viewed through the male eye, regardless of whether we are male or female.

This is reflected in what we consider to be strengths and weaknesses. Being the leader and being assertive make you a strong person. Making decisions, taking risks, being independent. Being physically strong and emotionally strong.

If anyone watched the most recent series of The Island with Bear Grylls you might have seen a lot of this stuff in action. This was the first year when the men and women were put on the same island and had to survive together, and it was something of a social experiment.

What interested me was that the Islanders learned that characteristics they considered to be assets weren’t quite so important, whilst those they might have overlooked became lifelines.

Physical strength for example; the larger, stronger members of the group suffered more towards the end because they needed more food thus becoming a burden on everyone else. Risk taking also caused problems; those who took risks often ended up putting themselves out of action. And when some members of the group asserted themselves as leaders they drowned out the voices of quieter members and missed out on their skills and ideas, a mistake which could have proved dangerous on more than one occasion.

I’ve realised that I think like this too. I value some skills above others, I downplay characteristics which are considered to be ‘weak’ or ‘feminine’.

How many people describe themselves as gentle? That’s like describing yourself as a pushover, it is, at best, associated with babies and kittens. But intentional gentleness has so much power; it’s hard to trust or work with a forceful person. Jesus was often described as gentle, and he was the most controversial, politically provocative figure in history.

Kindness is another good one. Dumbledore said to Harry “Just like your mother, you're unfailingly kind. A trait people never fail to undervalue, I'm afraid.” Bang on the money, Dumbledore. We’re taught to be kind from when we’re little kids, and so kindness is for children: you can’t afford to be kind in the adult world. But Bear Grylls reminded the men and women before they went on the island to be kind and they realised that it was vital to look out for another, keep everyones spirits up and boost each others self-confidence.

So I suppose my point is that maybe we should rethink which characteristics we consider to be ‘strong’ and which ones are ‘weak’, we should stop ranking some strengths as more important than others, and we should try not to associate particular characteristics as masculine or feminine. Men can be gentle; women can be leaders. After all, we are all unique and cannot be put into a category or a box.

Those parts of the body that seem to be the weaker are really necessary. And the parts which we think are less deserving are the parts to which we give the most honour... together you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of that body. 1 Corinthians 12:22-27

Any responses/thoughts/ideas are welcome as usual :)

Also, if you've got time to kill (and if you're reading this then, lets be honest, you probably do) here's an extremely interesting article about some research which might just throw all our ideas about gender out the window.

http://www.joshuakennon.com/the-six-common-biological-sexes-in-humans/

God's Plan: que sera, sera, right?

I was speaking to Steve Broadfoot yesterday and he suggested that I write a post about God’s Plan (capital P). He’s concerned that as Christians we take this prearranged state of affairs for granted. We like to say "we don’t need to be afraid, God has a plan" or "what will be, will be". (Que sera, sera.)

And there is something wonderfully comforting about knowing that someone or something is in control. I mean, occasionally we sit up in bed in a cold sweat wondering if the universe is totally illogical, disordered and out of control, flying wildly through time and space like a frisbee.

I do believe that there’s a plan, though. God’s Plan. That everything fits together into the greatest, most beautiful story ever told, the good bits and the bad bits, and everything that we do and see and feel is part of it. The thing that worries Steve is that when people know God has a Plan for them they tend to take a backseat. When everything is already sorted we think that there’s nothing left for us to do.

We become complaisant.

It’s very pleasant isn’t it? Knowing that everything is already being done. And by someone a lot bigger and more competent than us who gets it right far more often.

But that’s not how Gods Plan works.

God is as good as it gets, He really, really doesn’t need any help from us. As you may have noticed when He was last here in person (about 2000 years ago) He was probably better at doing all His healing and loving people and winding up the authorities stuff without His disciples. Not to mention, He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, outside of time, etc, etc, and yet He’s written us into His big Plan.

That seems counter-productive right? Humans aren’t the greatest accomplices for God: we don’t like to be told what to do, we don’t really listen, when we do listen we don’t understand, and even when we understand we screw it up by accident or on purpose.

So why does God want us to help Him carry out his Plan?

Pretty simple. He likes us. He loves each of us and has given every one a different personality and skill-set. And how do you show someone that you love them? You invite them to be a part of your life and your future. You want to be a part of their life and future. That’s what God says to us: can I share your life with you? Come and be a part of this big beautiful story I’m writing!

If we then choose to be part of God’s plan, what does that involve? Well, it’s not an easy ride that’s for sure.

The main thing that I have learned is that God’s Plan doesn’t just happen. Actually, sometimes it does, sometimes you are confronted with a situation and you know exactly what God wants you to do, and it’s something simple and natural. Like being kind to people, which is usually fairly easy; but as Steve said “it’s easy to be nice, it’s hard to be loving”.

More and more I find that God’s Plan is less obvious, less easily perceptible because I need to be an active part of what He's doing. I can’t simply wait and see what He does, I need to step out, to search for opportunities to do God’s work, to push through fear and social awkwardness and do what Jesus would do if He were in my situation.

Even today the Holy Spirit gave me a very clear message; She said “step it up”. And yesterday Steve began to wonder aloud what church might look like if we were to step it up a gear, to be more active and create opportunities, instead of just praying and singing while we wait for the easy chances to do God’s work. How much more ‘fruit’ would we see? More physical/spiritual/mental healing, better relationships, more people falling in love with Jesus. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?

The fact is I probably wouldn’t be able to even consider stepping it up if I didn’t love and trust God (and it took me a while to get here), which is why I’m praying for quite a few of you, that you begin to love and trust Him.  But if you think that you already love and trust God, ask yourself if you are actively engaging in His plan. Or are you sitting back, and waiting complaisantly? He's got things for you to be doing, you know.

Jesus said: I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know what his master is doing. But I call you friends because I have made known to you everything I heard from my Father. You did not choose me; I chose you. And I gave you this work: to go and produce fruit, fruit that will last.

John 15:15-16

Thanks to Steve for challenging me, and apologies if this didn't quite get to the heart of what you were saying yesterday. I had a lot of trouble keeping it within my usual word limit (I don't want to post an essay), but please feel free to add anything extra in the comments or send it to me and I can post it separately.

Ideas/comments/questions are welcome from anybody :)