Monday, 20 June 2016

Missy H Dunaway


I have a nearly finished blog post, but I have decided instead to quickly share my favourite artist with you.

She is called Missy H Dunaway. She paints double pages in dye-based and acrylic-based ink in a moleskine sketch book, and she is a sort of travel artist. Her paintings conjure up the call for prayer echoing over the rooftops of Istanbul, shady temples sweet with sunshine and birdsong, the winter luxury of Paris.

What I love about her work is her use of colour and light. It is so beautiful and so true to life that when you squint your eyes you could believe you are seeing what she saw. Her shapes are less accurate, but that gives her work an inperfect charm (and I really distrust perfection), an organic quality which draws you in.

This is probably because she studied impressionist painting and worked entirely outside, like a true impressionist. She also writes short anecdotes (only a line or two) on her paintings and the combination of her art and words makes me feel like I’ve actually been to Istanbul and Paris and all the other beautiful places.

I could sing her praises for a very long time but really it would be much better for you to have a look for yourself.  I don't expect she'll be everyone's cup of tea but here’s her website anyway:



I'll be back with my finished post soon hopefully, have a great week.

Saturday, 28 May 2016

Strengths and Weaknesses: Lessons learned from The Island


I started thinking about this after my jaunt to Manchester the other weekend. My friend Abbie (who I like to think of as Abbie the Artist even though she has renounced art for the timebeing) knows a lot of about feminism and culture, and told me that nearly all aspects of our lives are viewed through the male eye, regardless of whether we are male or female.

This is reflected in what we consider to be strengths and weaknesses. Being the leader and being assertive make you a strong person. Making decisions, taking risks, being independent. Being physically strong and emotionally strong.

If anyone watched the most recent series of The Island with Bear Grylls you might have seen a lot of this stuff in action. This was the first year when the men and women were put on the same island and had to survive together, and it was something of a social experiment.

What interested me was that the Islanders learned that characteristics they considered to be assets weren’t quite so important, whilst those they might have overlooked became lifelines.

Physical strength for example; the larger, stronger members of the group suffered more towards the end because they needed more food thus becoming a burden on everyone else. Risk taking also caused problems; those who took risks often ended up putting themselves out of action. And when some members of the group asserted themselves as leaders they drowned out the voices of quieter members and missed out on their skills and ideas, a mistake which could have proved dangerous on more than one occasion.


I’ve realised that I think like this too. I value some skills above others, I downplay characteristics which are considered to be ‘weak’ or ‘feminine’.

How many people describe themselves as gentle? That’s like describing yourself as a pushover, it is, at best, associated with babies and kittens. But intentional gentleness has so much power; it’s hard to trust or work with a forceful person. Jesus was often described as gentle, and he was the most controversial, politically provocative figure in history.

Kindness is another good one. Dumbledore said to Harry “Just like your mother, you're unfailingly kind. A trait people never fail to undervalue, I'm afraid.” Bang on the money, Dumbledore. We’re taught to be kind from when we’re little kids, and so kindness is for children: you can’t afford to be kind in the adult world. But Bear Grylls reminded the men and women before they went on the island to be kind and they realised that it was vital to look out for another, keep everyones spirits up and boost each others self-confidence.


So I suppose my point is that maybe we should rethink which characteristics we consider to be ‘strong’ and which ones are ‘weak’, we should stop ranking some strengths as more important than others, and we should try not to associate particular characteristics as masculine or feminine. Men can be gentle; women can be leaders. After all, we are all unique and cannot be put into a category or a box.


Those parts of the body that seem to be the weaker are really necessary. And the parts which we think are less deserving are the parts to which we give the most honour... together you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of that body. 1 Corinthians 12:22-27

Any responses/thoughts/ideas are welcome as usual :)


Also, if you've got time to kill (and if you're reading this then, lets be honest, you probably do) here's an extremely interesting article about some research which might just throw all our ideas about gender out the window.
http://www.joshuakennon.com/the-six-common-biological-sexes-in-humans/

Sunday, 15 May 2016

God's Plan: que sera, sera, right?


I was speaking to Steve Broadfoot yesterday and he suggested that I write a post about God’s Plan (capital P). He’s concerned that as Christians we take this prearranged state of affairs for granted. We like to say "we don’t need to be afraid, God has a plan" or "what will be, will be". (Que sera, sera.)

And there is something wonderfully comforting about knowing that someone or something is in control. I mean, occasionally we sit up in bed in a cold sweat wondering if the universe is totally illogical, disordered and out of control, flying wildly through time and space like a frisbee.

I do believe that there’s a plan, though. God’s Plan. That everything fits together into the greatest, most beautiful story ever told, the good bits and the bad bits, and everything that we do and see and feel is part of it. The thing that worries Steve is that when people know God has a Plan for them they tend to take a backseat. When everything is already sorted we think that there’s nothing left for us to do.

We become complaisant.

It’s very pleasant isn’t it? Knowing that everything is already being done. And by someone a lot bigger and more competent than us who gets it right far more often.

But that’s not how Gods Plan works.

God is as good as it gets, He really, really doesn’t need any help from us. As you may have noticed when He was last here in person (about 2000 years ago) He was probably better at doing all His healing and loving people and winding up the authorities stuff without His disciples. Not to mention, He’s all-powerful, all-knowing, outside of time, etc, etc, and yet He’s written us into His big Plan.

That seems counter-productive right? Humans aren’t the greatest accomplices for God: we don’t like to be told what to do, we don’t really listen, when we do listen we don’t understand, and even when we understand we screw it up by accident or on purpose.


So why does God want us to help Him carry out his Plan?

Pretty simple. He likes us. He loves each of us and has given every one a different personality and skill-set. And how do you show someone that you love them? You invite them to be a part of your life and your future. You want to be a part of their life and future. That’s what God says to us: can I share your life with you? Come and be a part of this big beautiful story I’m writing!

If we then choose to be part of God’s plan, what does that involve? Well, it’s not an easy ride that’s for sure.

The main thing that I have learned is that God’s Plan doesn’t just happen. Actually, sometimes it does, sometimes you are confronted with a situation and you know exactly what God wants you to do, and it’s something simple and natural. Like being kind to people, which is usually fairly easy; but as Steve said “it’s easy to be nice, it’s hard to be loving”.

More and more I find that God’s Plan is less obvious, less easily perceptible because I need to be an active part of what He's doing. I can’t simply wait and see what He does, I need to step out, to search for opportunities to do God’s work, to push through fear and social awkwardness and do what Jesus would do if He were in my situation.

Even today the Holy Spirit gave me a very clear message; She said “step it up”. And yesterday Steve began to wonder aloud what church might look like if we were to step it up a gear, to be more active and create opportunities, instead of just praying and singing while we wait for the easy chances to do God’s work. How much more ‘fruit’ would we see? More physical/spiritual/mental healing, better relationships, more people falling in love with Jesus. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?

The fact is I probably wouldn’t be able to even consider stepping it up if I didn’t love and trust God (and it took me a while to get here), which is why I’m praying for quite a few of you, that you begin to love and trust Him.  But if you think that you already love and trust God, ask yourself if you are actively engaging in His plan. Or are you sitting back, and waiting complaisantly? He's got things for you to be doing, you know.


Jesus said: I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know what his master is doing. But I call you friends because I have made known to you everything I heard from my Father. You did not choose me; I chose you. And I gave you this work: to go and produce fruit, fruit that will last.
John 15:15-16


Thanks to Steve for challenging me, and apologies if this didn't quite get to the heart of what you were saying yesterday. I had a lot of trouble keeping it within my usual word limit (I don't want to post an essay), but please feel free to add anything extra in the comments or send it to me and I can post it separately.

Ideas/comments/questions are welcome from anybody :)

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Is God a boy or a girl?


The kids at Flame asked an interesting question last Thursday: is God a boy or a girl? Me and Sara just looked at each other like uuuuhhhhhh... Their parents were arriving in the foyer and we were about to finish with a little prayer, but I wish we’d had the time to discuss it because it showed that they were starting to think of God as a person, rather than just an idea or a genie.

Then I thought that perhaps other people wonder about this too. So here’s a bit of a thought dump on the subject.

The first three things I wanna say are that:
1) As far as I know God isn’t male or female, God has both male and female characteristics.
2) Even though God is ‘genderless’, for want of a better word, we don’t call Him ‘it’ because ‘it’ is generally used when referring to inanimate objects and animals and we mustn’t forget that God is a person.
3) I refer to God as ‘He’, not because I’m a raging misogynist, but simply because it’s how I’ve referred to Him all my life.

I guess the reason God has characteristics of both genders, and is simultaneously both and neither, is that gender only really came about when He made humans and animals (and plants if you wanna get technical).


So why did God even bother with the whole gender thing? It really seems to have been more trouble than it’s worth. Let’s start in the beginning. On the 6th day God made Man i.e. the first human (see my previous post ‘Feminism and the Fall’ where I bang on about how the first human was split in half like an amoeba).

Right now I feel the answer can be explained, at least a little bit, by the Trinity. This is the idea that God is at once one God, and three separate people: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Please do not try too hard to understand this. There are plenty of helpful analogies (e.g. the cloverleaf), but at the end of the day God is just too big and complex for us to get our heads around. He’s three, and he’s one.

So before God created the world there was just the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit loving one another in perfect community. Is it surprising that when they create the first human they say “Its not good for humans to be alone”? And thus the first human is divided in two: man and woman. So that these two can love each other like the Father, Son and Holy Spirit love each other.

Even now, after all the good relationships God planned for us went wrong (between each other and with Him) we can still search for that love that exists within the Trinity: romantic love, family love, friendship love. That’s why when we make time for each other, or we put somebody else's needs before our own, we bring a little piece of heaven to earth.

Sorry, got a bit side tracked there. But I would have liked to tell the kids at Flame about the Trinity if I’d had time. 

I’d like to tell them that the names Father and Son don’t necessarily mean a masculine God but one who wants to be like a parent to us. That He became one of us in the form of Jesus and knows exactly how much we suffer. I’d like to tell them that some people have considered the Holy Spirit to be the feminine facet of God as She is associated with healing and wisdom. And probably because She’s the part of God that is everywhere in the world at once (that was a joke… sort of).

But I imagine they would find it all very boring. And on that note, I think I'll finish.

I realise that this is kind of a random collection of thoughts rather than anything coherent but please share any comments/ideas/questions as always, because sometime I spend too much time in my own head and need to hear some other voices :)

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Hello, babies.


I've been prompted this week to write something; there's a blog post cooking so watch this space. In the meantime here's a lovely quote from Kurt Vonnegut that Abbie Harris drew my attention to some time ago: 

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Ice on the Millpond

You may have noticed that my posts are getting fewer and further between. And, now that I'm starting my first full-time, grown up job, I'll be writing even less. I expect this will be my last full-length post for a while, although I have a load of fantastic local artists that I'll be drip feeding you on the run up to Christmas!
   So by way of an apology here's a slightly longer story/fairytale. Yeah, it is actually quite long. I mean, its the longest piece of fiction I've ever finished. But I like to think that it's moderately entertaining, so hopefully you'll enjoy it! Look out for my short posts in future and thanks everyone who's commented, given me advise or encouragement, liked on facebook or even just read something I've written :)

Ice on the Millpond

There was once a young man who took an elven maiden for his wife. She fell in love with him because he stood as tall and straight as a tree, had handsome eyes of green, gold and brown and he was gentle and kind.
   He loved her too because, although she was ordinary in the eyes of other elves, she was beautiful beyond measure to him. Her autumn coloured hair fell below her waist, her face was as lovely as the sun shining through the willow leaves and he was impressed by her speed and agility, in which he had never seen her equal.
   Of course, their parents disapproved. The young man’s mother and father did not want him to form an attachment to one of the Fae Folk, knowing that there was truth in the tales of their strange ways and their fickleness. The elf’s parents did not want her to leave them for a mortal man who would turn to dust in a hundred years. But, with this thought in mind, they resigned themselves to wait for their daughter to return to them for good and so they blessed the marriage. As did the young man’s parents who could see that the attachment was formed and that their son would not be swayed.
   The couple were married in October and the young man’s parents gave them a house of their own to live in. The elf’s parents gave them a dowry of beautiful wooden chairs and tables carved with patterns of flowers, trees and animals, and a fine silver sword as a wedding gift for their son-in-law.
   The couple moved into their house and at first they were very happy. They were pleased with one another’s company and the freedom that living away from their parents afforded them. And if occasionally the young man noticed the lamps glowing with a greenish hue or unusual birds in their garden he brushed such thoughts aside. He had married an elf after all and she would, of course, attract strangeness to their ordinary little town.
   Each day the young man would go out to work and the elf would go wandering in the woods, foraging for mushrooms and hunting rabbits and deer. Soon the elf maiden began to long for the company of other women but the women of the town avoided her and her neighbours never answered her dinner invitations. They thought her unnatural and dangerous.
   Winter set in and the houses of the town were coated in ice. Women baked sweet pies for each other and piled more wood on the stoves. Men set out to work with a hot baked potato in their pocket, their noses red beneath their caps. Children waited in anticipation for snow.
   The frost formed beautiful patterns on the windows of the newlywed couple’s house, like flowers and trees blooming silver-white (the ice on his neighbour’s windows looked formless and flat in comparison but he did not notice). Smoke from the vigorously stoked fires drew charcoal scrawls on the sky and the millpond froze over. The elf would often walk by the pond and think that if the ice were removed it would be like an enormous blue coin. But she walked alone and became more restless and lonely than ever.
   One day, she walked down to the mill pond to find the ice broken into a hundred jagged floes. A thin layer of water had already frozen between the shards and she looked about the banks for the body of some unfortunate child that might have fallen in. She found nothing unusual except for two little islands, side by side in the centre of the pond, which she had never seen before.
   Suspicious and wary, she quickly went to find the miller. His ruddy-face darkened when she told him of the broken ice and even more when he heard about the two islands.
   “You say you looked for a body?” he asked, mildly impressed at her grit, “there won’t be a body now even if someone did fall in. I’ll tell you what broke the ice. It was Jenny Greenteeth, a troll of the worst description. We ought to tell everyone to stay away from the millpond, for if any child gets near it, out will stretch her terrible long arms and that little one’ll be gone in a flash.”
   “But what are the islands?” asked the elf.
   “The top of her head and the hump of her back. You tell the women, I’ll tell the men, then we’ll decide what ought to be done.”

 The women were reluctant to believe the elf but to ignore such warnings would have been foolish indeed. That evening the men of the town gathered to discuss what would be done.
   “Kill ‘er I recon,” growled the blacksmith taking a swig of beer.
   “That’s obvious,” said the miller, “the question is how.”
   “We could wait round the edge of the pond until she surfaces, then kill her with a spear or arrow,” said the butcher, lovingly fingering a small knife he used for gutting rabbits.
   The men nodded and grunted their agreement
   The elf’s husband listened carefully to this conversation. It struck him as an exceedingly dangerous plan; what if Jenny reached out an arm and dragged one of them in before they could kill her? It would be difficult to see her through the ice until her claws were already closing on your ankle. But he was neither old or experienced enough to contradict the other men and so he remained silent.
   “When shall we do it?” said the blacksmith.
   “Tonight!” crowed a toothless old man, “when the moon is up. She won’t surface in the daylight, but the moon is soothing to her. We’ll creep up in a circle, quiet as foxes.”
   “Each of us with a bow and arrow!” cried the bakers son, quivering with excitement.
   “She’ll be dead by the morn,” said the inn keeper.
   They got up and left to fetch their weapons.

   The women were also discussing the troll, in the house of the richest lady in the town. The lady in question was sat closest to the fire, embroidering in a show of apparent decorum. Punk, punk, punk went the needle; she imagined each punk went through Jenny Greenteeth’s heart. The other women sat around on stools and chairs and the poorer women on the floor. The elf sat in a draughty corner alone, listening intently. Glittering frost flowers blossomed on the window beside her.
   “What will they decide?” asked the butcher’s wife.
   “They will decide to kill her of course,” said an elderly widow, “the question is how.”
   “And if they form a foolish plan? A dangerous one?” asked the butcher’s wife fearfully, “what then?”
   “Then,” said the lady of the house, crisply, “we allow them to go through with it. They will not shame themselves for our sake. God willing, they will succeed.”
   At that moment a small voice was heard at the door.
   “Mama?”
   The lady of the house got up to return her child to bed, lightly placing a hand on the boy’s hair.
   “But what if the men fail?” insisted the butcher’s wife once the lady had left the room.
   “Then they shall think of something else,” said the elderly widow impatiently, “do you or do you not trust you husband and the other men to protect us?”
   “What are you implying?” said the butcher’s wife. Everybody knew what was being implied, the butcher and his wife hadn’t trusted one another for years.
   “Let’s hear their plan,” said the washer woman softly. She was sat on the floor leaning against the wall, her aprons spread about her and her legs sprawled out beneath, “let them decide something for themselves and when they tell it to us we’ll judge the wisdom of it. Even though they won’t shame themselves for the sake of the women, each man will listen to his wife.”
   “Wise words indeed,” said the lady of the house who had been stood in the doorway, hidden by shadows, “and now, to bed. We shall hear their plan in the morning.”
   The elf wished they could take more action but by now she knew that it would not sit well with the other women, so she kept quiet. The washer woman had spoken well.

As the women went their separate ways the first snow began to fall. The road home was slippery with black ice, and when the elf returned, late though it was, her husband was not in. The windows were dark and the hearth cold.
   She had assumed that they would make a decision quickly, and the inn keeper, who liked to go to bed before midnight, would have sent them home a while ago. The elf put her boots back on, wrapped her fur-lined cloak about herself and left the house again. She went first to the inn but it was empty and no light shone in the windows upstairs. Then she went as quickly as she could over the ice to the richest lady’s house. She raised her fist to knock but stopped, lowered it and instead ran to the washer woman’s house. She felt sure that the washer woman would be a better ally.
   As she’d hoped, the washer woman donned a cloak and admitted her own worry at her husband’s failure to come home. Then the pair, slipping on the ice and occasionally supporting one another, returned to the inn. The men’s foot prints in the new snow were almost hidden but the group seemed to have been headed for the mill, so the elf and the washer woman set out again with a chill in their hearts.
   The washer woman could hardly keep up with the elf whose long hair flew behind her like a coppery pennant in the lamplight. As they approached the mill pond they could just see the silhouettes of men spread out around it in a wide circle. They crept nearer and put out the lamp but the women didn’t dare interrupt them lest Jenny Greenteeth should be alerted to their presence. They could only watch with trepidation.
   No moon shone that night. The sky was smothered by clouds and the snow which fell to earth was whipped about by the wind in such a way that the night grew dimmer still. Only a shadow of light remained by which the men strained to see the trolls quick arm, for they did not dare to light a lantern. The surface of the mill pond was rendered utterly opaque by scattered snowflakes. The men drew closer to the pond, the circle tightening like a knot. But it was tightening around an eel, thought the elf fearfully, because at any moment the monster might slip its noose and attack.
   The first crack was quiet and perhaps only the elf, with her sensitive ears, heard it. It was the sound of a fist breaking thin ice. The second crack was sickeningly loud and combined with a great splash, which was then followed by the screams and cries from the remaining men. From the gap in the circle, the elf judged that someone had been pulled beneath the ice.
   She did not waste a moment but ran swiftly to the bank. The men only stood by shouting and nothing could be seen the beneath the surface of the pond; it was a cold ocean of dancing ice floes. Nevertheless she shrugged off her cloak, took her knife in hand and dived in.
   The water felt like blades against her skin. It was very dark and quiet. She strained her eyes to see Jenny Greenteeth for she had expected an attack from the troll as soon as she entered the water but none came. Her eyes adjusted quickly and the pool seemed far deeper than she had guessed, ribbons of weed licked her ankles and as she looked down she could just make out the tangle of limbs that was Jenny and her victim.
   The elf kicked downwards into the darkness and tugged at what she hoped was a man’s booted leg, but she felt fingers tighten around her wrist and sharp nails dig into her skin. Without stopping to think or decide whether the grip was friend or foe she slashed at it with her knife. Jenny Greenteeth promptly loosened hold but she struck out at the elf’s face with her other hand. Despite being blinded by pain and blood the elf slashed again, this time in the direction of the locks of pond weed that were the trolls hair. The knife made contact and a terrible cry echoed through the water.
   The elf still clutched the man’s booted ankle and she kicked blindly towards where she hoped the surface lay. As soon as her head broke through the ice, strong arms reached out and lifted her clear of the water. She had let go of the man but he too was caught up and dragged onto the frozen bank.
   She felt someone wrap her own cloak tightly around her and the voice of her husband asking whether she was alright, could she stand? Why was her face covered in blood?
   “I’m fine,” she murmured, “fine. Jenny scratched me.”
   The young man held her close and began to walk her home.
   “You were so brave,” he said over and over, “foolhardy, but brave.”

The next morning she was confined to bed.
   Her face had been cleaned but still bore three great scratches across her eye and cheek that the doctor said would scar. Jenny Greenteeth remained in the pond but she hid deep beneath the water, licking her wounds and mouthing evil curses, waiting and wondering darkly what would happen next.
   The man that the elf had saved was the bakers’ son. Whether Jenny had selected the slightest and youngest of the group on purpose or by accident only she knew, but if the elf had not been close by he certainly wouldn’t have lived; elves can hold their breath for longer than men, and their eyes are sharper in the dark. And so, while the elf lay in bed being fed chicken broth by her proud husband, the women of the town scolded the men for being so foolish (and none more than the bakers wife!), and the men puzzled over what to do next. Any new plan must be more carefully thought out but must also be swiftly implemented, because everyone’s greatest fear was that Jenny Greenteeth would grow hungry enough to leave the pond.
   The washer woman visited the elf and her husband several times over the next few days to relay the news that no decision had yet been made. Every time she explained some plan or scheme that had been suggested the elf shook her head vehemently. Each plan was rejected by the townsfolk anyway.
   But while the elf lay in bed she was not idle. She had her father’s bestiary in her lap and she read every passage concerning trolls. The book was very old with thick brown pages and crude drawings, and wherever it lay open the cat tried to sit on it so the elf was forever pushing the animal away gently. (That was another odd thing; her husband had noticed a marked change in the cats behaviour since he had moved in with his wife, it had grown more affectionate and, remarkably, it no longer took such pleasure in clawing his hands. But he simply put it to the back of his mind.)
The elf learned enough to begin to form a plan. She asked her husband why nobody had considered luring Jenny Greenteeth out of the pond.
   “Well,” he said, looking somewhat surprised, “she might kill us I suppose.”
   “But exposed to the wind and weather I think she would be at her weakest,” said the elf. For although the snow had lessened, it was colder than ever.
   “What are you suggesting?” asked her husband slowly.
   She told him, and he said he would sleep on it.

“It might work,” admitted the blacksmith.
   “Ain’t no skin off our backs if it doesn’t,” added the miller.
   “We could do with the firewood though,” grumbled the innkeeper.
   “We can compensate whoever provides the sheep,” said the elf’s husband quickly.
   They were huddled in the inn beside the fire. The flames were smoky and didn’t seem to warm them much, perhaps because the wood was damp. Everyone’s wood had been damp that winter, despite the crisp, dry weather. Green mould had crept out from under the bark, like algae spreading over a well.
   The men of the town accepted the elf’s plan with surprising ease, perhaps because no better plan had yet been discovered.
   The young man continued, “the snow has stopped too, which should make it easier.”
   “I’ve got an old ewe,” said someone.
   “Might as well get started then,” said the butcher, “there’s ten or so trees chopped down that haven’t yet been made into firewood.”
   Every man leapt up and leant a hand because each wondered in his heart: how much longer will Jenny stay in the pond?
   And beneath the ice, brown with old leaves and frozen in a crazy mosaic of splinters and shards, the old troll crouched in the mud and waited, muscles tense, secret spells muttering, she waited for the wind to drop.

It was so late at night that it was almost early in the morning. The men crept from their houses. The women sat up by the embers of the fire and prepared towels and hot water. Just in case. The children lay wide awake with excitement, because their fathers were out troll-hunting.
   Jenny heard the shuffling footsteps on the edge of the pond because the wind had died down, and suspicious though she was, she was by now hungry enough to risk anything. She listened closely and her long, knobbly hand crept closer to the surface of the ice, until crack! up it shot and her fist closed on nothing! Again she heard those shuffling noises on the other side of the pond. She wouldn’t be fooled this time, without warning her fist punched through the ice and snatched at the noise but again there was nothing!
   Jenny howled in frustration and her whole terrible, green body broke through the ice and was up on the bank before you could say Greenteeth.
   The ewe was before her but further from the pond than she had guessed. She lunged for it and it bleated and ran in terror from her, away from the pond and into the trees. She could see it well enough to catch it quickly, black as it was against the white snow. Her appetite was now so voracious that it had overpowered her mind and drove her on mercilessly, until the poor creature was dead and the best of its meat torn away by her ravenous green teeth.
   Her sense returned a little and the troll sat back on her haunches and looked around. There appeared to be no one about so she pulled a tooth from the sheep’s skull for protection. She began to drag the remains of the animal back to the millpond but when she reached it she found, to her dismay, that the whole thing was covered in logs; if she ever found a way into the pond between them she would certainly never find a way out once they froze in place. She clutched the sheep’s tooth realising, too late, that she had been tricked.
   Now they came for her. They were not yet close but Jenny Greenteeth could sense them hiding amongst the trees that ringed the pond, could imagine their terrified breath and their sweat. She bared her teeth in a grin: well, she thought, they would soon see what a mistake they had made.
   She spat on the sheep’s tooth and rubbed it with her thumb, mumbling words her mother had taught her until she saw the snow begin to lift up from the ground in flurries. The men cried out in alarm when the branches of the trees began to creak and sway, though there was no wind, and screamed when roots broke through the frozen earth and ensnared their ankles.
   Jenny chuckled with delight, content to watch their displeasure for a while, until she grew bored and the gnawing hunger drew her attention once more. She softly began to approach the nearest struggling man.
   He saw her coming and called out to his fellows, and tore in vain at the roots binding his ankles. She crept forward slowly, on all fours, savouring his fear even more for the fact that she could clearly see the sweat on his brow and blood on his chin where he had bitten his own tongue. He hacked at his bonds with a knife and Jenny scowled and moved a little faster.
   A little faster but not fast enough to reach the shade of the trees by the time the rim of the sun rose above the hills. The first pale rays of dawn touched the troll’s skin and drew from her lips a howl that could be heard for miles around.
   Her intended victim, the miller, finally succeeded in freeing himself but when he looked for Jenny Greenteeth all he saw was a stone statue in her likeness.

The trolls spell lifted as soon as she turned to stone. The men recovered themselves and returned to the town, helping one another and smiling, laughing even, in disbelief. Each man was glad to come home to his wife and family (even the butcher) but no man more so than the husband of the elf. He took her in his arms kissed her three scars and her autumn hair and told her that her plan had worked.
   After that winter the men of the town and the washerwoman treated the elf as one of their own. She had earned her place among the men with courage but her place among the women was earned with courage of different kind, and it took another nine months for the other women to accept her. When the elf’s child was finally born he was loved and doted upon by a hundred aunts.

   And each summer, the willows hung green and gold over the millpond, which remained empty save for fish and water-boatmen. And each winter, frost bloomed like silver flowers on the windows and the ice on the millpond remained perfect and unbroken.

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Love your brothers and sisters... whether they are fellow Brits or foreigners living in your towns

So the migrant crisis is a pretty big deal right? I mean, this is a crowded island, housing is limited, unemployment still a problem, and now on top of our standard net influx of immigrants we’ve got zillions more from Syria to house and feed and keep healthy.

Everyone’s been shouting about this issue, everyone’s throwing figures around. Even the Guardian is getting confused; I found three different numbers representing the amount of people arriving in Europe by sea in 2015 in the same article. No wonder anyone can just pick and choose whichever figures suit their cause.

I don’t like to sugar-coat or pussyfoot or rose-tint, so here’s what I understand to be happening (if you don’t like stats you might want to skip this next paragraph).

UK growth rate is currently 0.6% which is higher than most of Europe but lower than the US and Australia [World Bank]. I’m trusting you, as fellow grown ups, not to freak out if I tell you that the UK population is predicted to increase by 9.7 million in the next 25 years. To put that in perspective that’s 15% of the UK’s current population (which was 64.1m in 2013) [International Passenger Survey, Migration Watch UK].

Anyway, organisations like Migration Watch UK enjoy trying to scare us by saying that '68% of this projected growth will be caused by immigration!!!' but that’s not a particularly surprising figure when you consider that, according to the World Bank, the number of births per woman in the UK was 1.9 in 2013.

It’s true that recently there have been a lot more people migrating to Europe. As far as I can work out 744,000 arrived by sea in 2015 compared to 219,000 in 2014 (equivalent to 0.15% and 0.04% of the EU’s population respectively) [UNHCR, the Guardian]. Again, not particularly surprising considering the war in Syria. 4980 Syrian asylum seekers have been permitted to stay in the UK since 2011. Cameron says the UK will accept 20,000 over the next five years... not exactly zillions.


At this point let’s pause before we start arguing over how many asylum seekers should be allowed to stay, or before our heads explode from having so many numbers crammed into them. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can’t possibly consider every angle of this issue in a single blog post so forgive me if I miss out fundamental stuff or focus on things which seem to be of little consequence.


It’s very easy to see the figures and feel scared. More people in this country poses a threat to our wonderful (yet already strained) NHS, to our (unaffordable) housing market and to all the other freedoms and services we enjoy.

I’m only 22 with nothing much to lose which makes me something of an idealist. But after a conversation with someone much wiser and more rational than me even I have to admit that there’s only so many migrants we can support before our high standard of living goes out the window. Although perhaps we could all survive a lightly lower standard... but that’s another blog post for another day.

Yep, it’s very easy to be afraid. Not only that but we are effectively helpless in the face of these new arrivals; how many of us get to decide how many migrants are allowed into our country? Not very many.

Perhaps that’s why some of us are beginning to express our dislike of immigrants, whether by actively campaigning and joining the relevant political parties, or simply by the things we say and what we choose to read on the internet.

Deuteronomy 24:17 says ‘do not be unfair to a foreigner or an orphan’. And some companies ought to read verse 14: ‘don’t cheat hired servants who are poor and needy, whether they are fellow Israelites or foreigners living in one of your towns.’ In other words, treat them as our equals. At the end of the day we don’t have very much power over whether migrants come to the UK or not, but we do have the power to make their lives miserable when they get here.

Sometimes it’s important to distinguish between economic migrants, asylum seekers and refugees. But I recon that anyone who has left their home, everything they know and love (because, unlike us Brits a lot of people actually do love their countries) at great personal risk, isn’t doing it on a whim or because they’re a ‘scrounger’. They’re probably doing it because their life, or their family, depends on it. For whatever reason.

So, my concluding point would be: please treat our guests with respect, if not kindness and love. If you want to help them more directly there are organisations who could use your time or money or space. We live in a globalised world so, whether we like it or not, their problems are our problems too. The war in Syria is our problem, and so is IS, and the lack of human rights in some countries, and the civil wars in the Middle East etc etc. 

No problem was ever truly solved by hostility and ignorance. Who knows, through immigrants and our attitude towards them the UK might even become a place we can love.


‘We love because God loved us first. If people say “I love God” but hate their brothers and sisters, they are liars... God gave us this command: those who live God must also love their brothers and sisters.’ 1 John 4:19-21


Sorry for the incredibly shoddy referencing. If anyone would like to know where I got any of the numbers from just message me.
   Please follow the links (time or money or space) if you feel prompted to provide more practical assistance to the migrant crisis. But there are loads of other organisations out there doing similar stuff so feel free to do your own research.
   Any corrections are welcome, I try to research thoroughly but I don't always get it right. And comments/suggestions/stories/questions would also be great to hear if you feel like sharing em in the comments box below! My voice gets boring after a while.